Unique And Weird Blog

Funny Cute Babies

2007-03-01T17:29:00.000-08:00

Just wanna share with you guys computer engineered funny looking baby pictures....

Stupid Labelling

2007-03-01T07:38:00.000-08:00

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

Some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.

On Tesco's Tiramisu desert:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating

On packaging for a Rowenta Iron:
Do not iron clothes on body

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine
Do not drive car or operate machinery

On Nytol (a sleep aid):
Warning: may cause drowsiness

On a Korean-made kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese-made food processor:
Not to be used for the other use

On Sainsbury's Peanuts
Warning: contains nuts

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a Swedish-made chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

General Hints for a Better Life

2007-03-01T07:26:00.000-08:00

If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at the chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the F*****G thing in the first place.

Give up smoking by sticking one cigarette from each new pack up a fat friend's arse, filter first, then replacing it in the box. The possibility of putting that one in your mouth will put you off smoking any of them.

Make your girlfriend cry when you're having sex by phoning her up and telling her.

Dyslexics. Try deliberately spelling words wrongly. This way at least you have a chance of spelling them correctly.

Bearded men can obtain the appearance of an upper class Arctic explorer by simply applying Tippex to their beards, painting their noses blue, and cutting off a couple of toes. It never fails to impress the girls.

Housewives: When nipping out to the shops, remember to carry a stiff broom in the boot of your car. Use it to sweep the broken glass to the side of the road every time you have a minor accident.

Keep the seat next to you on the train vacant by smiling and nodding at people as they walk up the aisle.

Increase blind people's electricity bills by switching all their lights on when their guide dog isn't looking.

Girls. Too old to go on an 18 to 30 holiday? Simply get pissed, lie in a sand pit in your garden and shag every bloke who looks at you over the fence.

Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

Save money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741Y.

Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.

Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.

Deter goldfish from having sex by throwing a small bucket of air over any that you catch in the act.

An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

Arsenal fans. Avoid an asymmetrical bulge in your right arm by masturbating furiously with your left arm too.

Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the loo seat by simply pissing in the sink.

Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they wont know any difference.

Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours, and ask for a nice steak.

Which month are you belong?

2006-08-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

January

Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.

February

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

March

Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.

April

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confidant. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. Hot but has brains.

May

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High-spirited.

June

You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!

July

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

August

Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. No self-control. Kind hearted. Self-confident. Loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. in need of "that someone". Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. Lives by "no pain no gain" caring. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. Independent. Strong willed. A fighter.

September

Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

October

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

November

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.

Disember

This straight-up means you are the most good-looking person possible... Better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. One guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves music. Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive.

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July Free Ebooks

2006-07-29T10:03:00.000-07:00

FREE eBook ( No B.S , No Need to pay, Right click and choose save as )

How to Stop Smoking

Panduan Penjagaan Kereta dan Keselamatan (Bahasa Melayu)

Italian-Malay-English Phrases + Pronunciation

You can also download the pdf version of Italian-Malay-English Phrases + Pronunciation by visiting this link

For anyone who do not know what is ebook : It is simply electronic ebook. Rather than read on paper, ebook allows you to read on your pc, palm, tablet pc or any device that is created to read ebook. Usually ebook is available in .pdf and .exe format. You can also print it out if you like. Usually ebook is far cheaper than conventional book because does not require any paper to produce it at first place, thus reduce tremendously the production cost.

The New Weird Way To Spread HIV

2006-06-28T03:28:00.000-07:00

Weird way drug addict use to spread HIV, the virus of AIDS disease. Below is an article that needed to get attention if you never read it before.

In Thailand, one of drug addict who is HIV positive had been arrested and charged, but it was too late, as he already infected many innocent victim. So be careful! Some place that is dangerous and you might find contaminated needles that have been used by drug addicts.

At a beach. When you are walking at a beach please always wear slippers or shoes as HIV contamidated needles might buried under the sand. These needles might be exposed to underground by sea wave.

At a chidren playground! Another favourite place for drug addict. In Australia, where an innocent child had been accidentally injected with needle when he slide down where a needle happen to be at the bottom of the slide, and then comfirmed HIV positive.

At a cinema! Please check the seat before sitting. A case happened in Hawaii when a woman sat on a chair and felt something injected her. When she stand up, she realized there was a needle and a note written "Welcome to the real world, you are now HIV positive" . Doctor inspected the needle and confirmed it had HIV virus. So be careful.

In Georgia and Florida, US , there's a case a drug addict place a needle in coin balance retriever of vending machine. So if you want to buy drink oy candy or anything else from vending machine, look carefully into coin balance retriever, maybe someone has put a HIV contaminated needle inside it.

Please share this story with anyone else you know, especially family members and friends. You can forward them to this URL (copy and paste the url)

http://uniqueweird.blogspot.com/2006/06/new-weird-way-to-spread-hiv.html

As translated from an article in Bahasa Melayu by Dr Yasmin Anum Mohd Yusof Associate Professor & Head Dept. of Chemical Pathology School of Medical Sciences USM

Georgetown, Penang and KL is Among Asia's Top Cities By Asiaweek

2006-06-27T08:32:00.000-07:00

Penang and Kuala Lumpur been ranked among top 10 cities in Asia by a leading Asia magazine Asiaweek. Other 2 of the Southeast Asia or ASEAN cities also among the list. Kuching has raise it ranked from number 21 to 11. Tokyo take the first place from Fukuoka while Singapore fall from 3 to 4. These cities are judged by several indicators such as transportation, average income, percentage of population with piped water, GDP growth, unemployment rate, ratio of housing price per income, average life expentancy, annual urban inflation rate and vehicle per kilometre per city road.

Below are full list of Asia's Top Cities:

Source from: http://www.asiaweek.com/asiaweek/asiacities/topten.html

1. Tokyo, JAPAN
2. Fukuoka, JAPAN
3. Osaka, JAPAN
4. Singapore
5. Taipei, TAIWAN
6. Georgetown (Penang), MALAYSIA
7. Hong Kong SAR, CHINA
8. Bandar Seri Begawan, BRUNEI
9. Kuala Lumpur, MALAYSIA
10. Beijing, CHINA

11. Kuching, MALAYSIA
12. Macau, CHINA
13. Shanghai, CHINA
14. Cebu City, PHILIPPINE
15. Kaohsiung, TAIWAN
16. Metro Manila, PHILIPPINE
17. Pusan, SOUTH KOREA
18. Seoul, SOUTH KOREA
19. Davao City, PHILIPPINE
20. Chiang Mai, THAILAND

21. Guangzhou, CHINA
22. Hanoi, VIETNAM
23. Ho Chi Minh, VIETNAM
24. Colombo, SRI LANKA
25. Islamabad, PAKISTAN
26. Bangkok, THAILAND
27. Bangalore, INDIA
28. Kathmandu, NEPAL
29. Chongqing, CHINA
30. Yangon, BURMA

31. Chittagong, BANGLADESH
32. Delhi, INDIA
33. Dhaka, BANGLADESH
34. Karachi, PAKISTAN
35. Jakarta, INDONESIA
36. Phnom Penh, CAMBODIA
37. Bombay, INDIA
38. Bandung, INDONESIA
39. Surabaya, INDONESIA
40. Vientiane, LAOS

Evil and Shocking! Eating Baby in Japan!

2006-06-22T01:56:00.000-07:00

Wife vs Hubby

2006-06-20T00:56:00.000-07:00

WIFE'S DIARY

Sunday night.

I thought he was acting weird.We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have coffee.

I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere

Quiet so we could talk.

He agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

I asked him what was wrong.

He said: "Nothing."

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him.

He simply smiled and kept driving.

I can't explain his behavior;

I don't know why he didn't say: "I love u, too."

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV;

He seemed distant and absent.

Finally, I decided to go to bed.

About 10 minutes later he came to bed.

I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.

I don't know what to do.

I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

===========================================

HUSBAND'S DIARY

Today, Manchester United lost the match. DAMN IT..!!

(Ends)

Reasons Why I Never Visit My Rich Friend

2006-06-20T00:52:00.000-07:00

Once while visiting a very rich friend, the maid approached me
and.....

Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea,
Chocolate, Capuccino, Frapuccino,or Coffee?"
Answer: " Tea please"

Question : " Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea,Bush tea, Honey bush
tea, Iced tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?
Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, or fresh cream?
Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat's milk, or cow's milk"
Answer: "With cow's milk please.

Question: " Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll just take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White, brown or yellow sugar?"
Answer: "Forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water
instead."

Question: "Mineral water, tap water or distilled water? "
Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I think I'll just die of thirst!"

MORAL OF THE STORY IS
NEXT TIME WHEN U VISIT YOUR RICH FRIEND DON'T TALK TO THE MAID. ;p

Some Funny Stories

2006-06-08T23:48:00.000-07:00

Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
_______________________________________________

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
_______________________________________________

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
_______________________________________________

Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"
Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!"
Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."
_______________________________________________

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
_______________________________________________

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."
_______________________________________________

Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire to?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
_______________________________________________

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
_______________________________________________

Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with?
Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!
_______________________________________________

Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S. ?
Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side.
_______________________________________________

A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humour.
_______________________________________________

Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?
Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.

Thailand Museum Of Death

2006-06-08T23:40:00.000-07:00

Funny Daddy

2006-06-07T09:24:00.000-07:00

4 husbands were sitting at the waiting room in a hospital whilewaiting for their wives birth giving. Then a nurse came out and told to the first daddy,

"Congratulations,you got twins!".
"Ohh.. maybe its a coincident" said the daddy.
"I am working with the Petronas Twin Towers".

Then another nurse came out and told to the second daddy,
"Congratulations! You have triplets!"
"Wooow!, this is a coincident too" said the second daddy "I am working for 3M Corporation"

Another nurse came out and told the third daddy,
"Congratulations!
Your wife give you 4 babies," "Maybe this is also a coincident". "I work at Four Season Hotel!"

While, the fourth daddy-to-be were in uncontrol worry.
All the 3 daddies asked him, "why do you seem so worry??"
He answered, "i am working with Seven-Eleven !!!"

The Check Up

2006-06-07T07:15:00.000-07:00

An elderly couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together.

After the examination, the doctor then said to the elderly man "You appear to be in good health, do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

"In fact I do," said the man, "After I have sex with my wife for the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then,after I have sex with my wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."

"This is very interesting," replied the doctor, "Let me do some research and get back to you."

After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

The lady replied that she had no questions nor concerns.

The doctor then asked: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?" "Oh that old coot!" She replied. "That's because the first time is usually in July, and the second time is usually in December!"

Inside Google Office ! Cool !

2006-06-06T14:44:00.000-07:00

Poll: Who is your favorite female celeb?

2006-03-09T21:51:00.000-08:00

I am Spongobon, How about You?

2006-03-09T21:26:00.000-08:00

Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities of well know and modern cartoon characters. The information that was gathered was made into this test:

Answer all the questions with what describes you best, add up all your points at the end and look for your results. Then forward this to all your friends and change the subject of this message to what character is you.

1) Which one of the following describes the perfect date?

a) Candlelight dinner
b) Fun/Theme Park
c) Painting in the park
d) Rock concert
e) Going to the movies

2)What is your favorite type of music?

a) Rock and Roll
b) Alternative
c) Soft Rock
d) Country
e) Pop

3) What type of movies do you prefer?

a) Comedy
b) Horror
c) Musical
d) Romance
e) Documentary

4) Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could choose one of these?

a) Waiter
b) Professional Sports Player
c) Teacher
d) Police
e) Cashier

5) What do you do with your spare time?

a) Exercise
b) Read
c) Watch television
d) Listen to music
e) Sleep

6) Which one of the following colors do you like best?

a) Yellow
b) White
c) Sky Blue
d) Dark Blue
e) Red

7) What do you prefer to eat right now?

a) Snow
b) Pizza
c) Sushi
d) Pasta
e) Salad

8) What is your favorite Holiday?

a) Halloween
b) Christmas
c) New Year
d) Valentines Day
e) Thanksgiving

9) If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?

a) Paris
b) Spain
c) Las Vegas
d) Hawaii
e) Hollywood

10) With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?

a) Someone Smart
b) Someone attractive
c) Someone who likes to Party
d) Someone who always has fun
e) Someone very sentimental

Now add up your points and find out the answer you have been waiting for!

1.) a-4 b-2 c-5 d-1 e-3
2.) a-2 b-1 c-4 d-5 e-3
3.) a-2 b-1 c-3 d-4 e-5
4.) a-4 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-1
5.) a-5 b-4 c-2 d-1 e-3
6.) a-1 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-4
7.) a-3 b-2 c-1 d-4 e-5
8.) a-1 b-3 c-2 d-4 e-5
9.) a-4 b-5 c-1 d-4 e-3
10.) a-5 b-2 c-1 d-3 e-4

(10-16 points) You are Garfield:

You are very comfortable, easy going, and you definitely know how to have fun but sometimes you take it to an extreme where you can hurt others. You tend to ignore feelings of others.You always know what you are doing and you are always in control of your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try to remember your happy spirit may hurt you or others.

(18-26 points) You are Snoopy:

You are fun, you are very cool and popular. You always know what's in and you never are out of style. You are good at knowinghow to satisfy everyone else. Yo u have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but you always come home with the family values that you learned. Being married and having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun times.

(22-28 points) You are Arnold:

You have lots of friends and you are also popular, always willing to give advice and help out a person in need. You are very optimistic and you always see the brightmside of things. Some good advice: try not to be too much of a dreamer, if not you will have many conflicts with life. When someone that is honest offeres you friendship, take it. Keep in touch with reality and life will be so much fun.

(29-34 points) Y ou are Sponge Bob Square Pants:

You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend anyone could ever have and never want to loose. You never cause harm to anyone, and nobody will ever understand you or your feelings. You are usually used by others becasue of your good nature and loving qualities. Those who do respect you doso in the most honest way. Life is a journey, your always on an adventure, funny and calm, yet full of too many ups and downs for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people as they are the ones that bring you down... then you will be stress free.

(35-42 points) You are Charlie Brown:

you are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You call your mom every Sunday. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.

(43-50 points) You are Dexter:

You are smart and definitely a thinker. Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong family principles. Maintain a stable routine but never ignore a bad situation when it comes upon you. When it comes to friends, your #1. Other people's problems are just that, their problems. You have selective hearing.

How Bird Flu spread rampantly in China...

2006-03-09T21:03:00.000-08:00

Early dawn, starts the day by riding around to collect dead chicken

Asking around for dead chicken

Total of 5 riders are hired by the boss to farms to buy dead chickens

A dead chicken cost 1 RMB and would be sold at 9 RMB after processing

Storage for the dead chickens in the court yard

carcasses are thrown everywhere

And on the floor….

4 employees start de-feathering the dead fowls after soaking them in

boiling water from a rusty wok

Enduring the pungent odor, but sometimes, it gets so terrible that even

the most experience of the workers would puke

Workers rushing to get the chicken de-feathered

A discarded bath tub being used to soak the bare skin dead chicken

the contaminated water would have accelerated the decomposition

process

Wearing slippers walking among the chicken before coloring processing

After the colour dye, its creepy to find that they are quite tenderising

Presenting the mouth watering Charcoal Roasted Chicken

Poll : What Item You Are Willing To Purchase Online?

2006-03-07T23:13:00.000-08:00

<a href="http://not-a-real-namespace/http://not-a-real-namespace/http://micropoll.questionpro.com/akira/MicroPoll?mode=html&id=7469">View MicroPoll</a><br /><a href="http://not-a-real-namespace/http://not-a-real-namespace/http://www.questionpro.com/">Online Survey</a><br />

Do not heat liquids in a microwave for more than 2 minutes.

2006-03-07T22:38:00.000-08:00

( Share this important information with your families and friends.)

''A 26-year old person decided to have a cup of coffee. He took a cup of water and put it in the microwave to heat it up (something that he had done numerous times before). I am not sure how long he set the timer for, but he told me he wanted to bring the water to a boil. When the timer shut the oven off, he removed the cup from the oven. As he looked into the cup, he noted that the water was not boiling, but instantly the water in the cup "blew up" into his face. The cup remained intact until he threw it out of his hand but all the water had flown out into his face due to the build up of energy. His whole face is blistered and he has 1st and 2nd degree burns to his face which may leave scarring. He also may have lost partial sight in his left eye. While at the hospital, the doctor who was attending to him stated that this is fairly common occurrence and water (alone) should never be heated in a microwave oven. If water is heated in this manner, something should be placed in the cup to diffuse the energy such as a wooden stir stick, tea bag, etc. It is however a much safer choice to boil the water in a tea kettle.

General Electric's response:

Thanks for contacting us. I will be happy to assist you. The e-mail that you received is correct. Microwaved water and other liquids do not always bubble when they reach the boiling point. They can actually get superheated and not bubble at all. The superheated liquid will bubble up out of the cup when it is moved or when something like a spoon or tea bag is put into it.

To prevent this from happening and causing injury, do not heat any liquid for more than two minutes per cup. After heating, let the cup stand in the microwave for thirty seconds before moving it or adding anything into it. Here is what a science teacher had to say on the matter: "Thanks for the microwave warning. I have seen this happen before. It is caused by a phenomenon known as super heating. It can occur anytime water is heated and will particularly occur if the vessel that the water is heated in is new, or when heating a small amount of water (less than half a cup). What happens is that the water heats faster than the vapor bubbles can form. If
the cup is very new then it is unlikely to have small surface scratches inside it that provide a place for the bubbles to form. As the bubbles cannot form and release some of the heat that has built up, the liquid does not boil, and the liquid continues to heat up well past its boiling point.

What then usually happens is that the liquid is bumped or jarred, which is just enough of a shock to cause the bubbles to rapidly form and expel the hot liquid.

If you pass this on ... you could very well save someone from a lot of pain and suffering

Funny Cartoon

2006-03-07T22:22:00.000-08:00

Moles and what they say about you

2006-03-07T21:47:00.000-08:00

The Chinese Almanac, also known as the Tung Shu, is commonly known as a book of auspicious and inauspicious dates, but there is so much more to the Tung Shu than that. It is a vast mine of information relating to astrology, codes and symbols, derived by the wise sages and philosophers of ancient China. In this issue, we bring to you the secrets from the almanac regarding moles on your face and what they mean depending on which part of your face they appear.

First, check your face for any moles, and then look at the diagram above to identify the number(s) that are a closest match to the moles on your face. Usually, the moles only hold meaning for you if they are prominent and they are the only one. If your face if full of spots, acne or "little" moles, they do not count. When you've ascertained which position corresponds to the mole on your face, look up the meanings listed by numbers below.

Position 1 to 3
As a child, you are somewhat rebellious and a free spirit. You have an innate creativity and work best when you are given a free hand. Generally, your superiors like your avante garde approach to life. If you have a mole here, you are far better off in business and being your own boss rather than working for somebody. What is promising is that you have the luck to be your own boss.

Position 4
You are an impulsive person, often acting with a flamboyance that gives you charisma and a sparkling personality, but you can be difficult when there are too many opinions. You tend to be rather argumentative, but never to the point of holding grudges. This mole tends to give you an explosive
temper and should you decide to remove it, you will find yourself becoming calmer and more at peace with the world.

Position 5
A mole above the eyebrow indicates that there is wealth luck in your life, but you will need to earn it and work harder than most people. All the income you make must be carefully kept as there are people who are jealous of you who might attempt to sweet talk you into parting with your wealth. Be wary of those who try to interest you in get-rich-quick schemes. If you have a mole here, it is advisable not to be too trusting of others. Follow your instincts and be cautious. And never allow other people to control your finances.

Position 6
A mole here indicates intelligence, creativity and skill as an artist. Your artistic talent can bring you wealth, fame and success. It also indicates wealth luck, but this can only be fully realized if you follow your heart rather than stick to conventional means of making a living. Success will come if you are brave.

Position 7
Moles under the eyebrows indicate arguments within the extended family that cause you grief and unhappiness. This will affect your work and livelihood. It is advisable to settle any differences you have with your relatives if you want peace of mind to move ahead.

Position 8
This is not a very good position for a mole. Your financial position will constantly be under strain because of a tendency to overspend. You also have a penchant for gambling. The only thing is you must know when to stop. Meanwhile, someone with a mole here has a tendency to flirt with members of the opposite sex as well as with the same sex. Better be a little discerning where you exert your charms, or you might get into trouble.

Position 9
This mole position suggests sexual and other problems. It is an unfortunate mole and you are well advised to get rid of it. It brings a litany of woes and a parade of problems.

Position 10
A mole here just under the nose indicates excellent descendants luck. You are surrounded by family at all times and will have many children and grandchildren. You have the support of those close to you and will be both materially and emotionally fulfilled.

Position 11
Moles here suggest a tendency to succumb to illness. It is a good idea to have this mole removed especially if it is a large, dark-coloured mole. Otherwise use lots of foundation to cover it.

Position 12
A mole here foretells a successful but also a very balanced life. You are likely to be not just rich, but famous as well. But although you have every opportunity to live the high life, you will have a satisfying home and family life as well. Women with moles here are particularly lucky and tend to be beautiful and glamourous as well.

Position 13
Your children will be a big worry in your life. Your relationship with them is not good. There is nothing much you can do about this except to learn some tolerance.

Position 14
A mole here suggests a vulnerability to food which can be a big problem in your life. You may have allergies against certain foods or you may simply be eating too much.

Position 15
You are a person always on the move and constantly renovating and redesigning your house. You like to be introduced to new things and see new places. You are not happy if you remain in one place for long. You enjoy travel and adventure, and have a very observant eye.

Position 16
You need to be careful when it comes to eating, and also when it comes to your sex life. These are your two biggest problems. You tend to have weight issues which can make you depressed. You enjoy romance, sometimes with more than one person, but because you are a person with some morality, you will feel guilty about it and this will cause you much stress.

Position 17
You will be someone of great social prominence. You are active on the social scene and an excellent conversationalist. There is a tendency to become bigheaded about your success, which could lose you your good name. This will affect you deeply because you draw your confidence and self worth from what others think of you.

Position 18
You are a person always on the move. There is a great deal of overseas travel in your life, but you should take extra care each time you cross the great waters, as your mole prefers you to stay at home.

Position 19
You have money luck and many good friends, so this is a good mole to have. Your weakness is that you tend to succumb to the charms of the opposite sex. In your life, it is this that could get you into hot water, so do cool your ardour!

Position 20
A mole here can be very lucky or very unlucky. If you have a mole here, you are destined either for extreme fame or infamy. You have great flair for creativity and are also highly intelligent, but your talents can be used for both good and bad. You are not a person to be trifled with for you are no pushover and do not forgive and forget easily. This mole is a mark of someone who will go down in history either as a great or as a tyrant.

Position 21
This is a good mole, as it suggests plenty to eat and drink throughout your life. This mole also brings fame and recognition.

Position 22
Your life is always happy and things go smoothly for you. You could well become a sports superstar if you have the passion for it. Moles at the end of eyebrows also suggest a person of authority and power, so if you are the CEO of a company, you will do very well.

Position 23
You have a high IQ, and you are both brain smart and street smart. You have a highly-developed survival instinct and will lead a meaningful and long life. You will be active until a very old age and will have friends and family around you till the very end.

Position 24
You will achieve fame and fortune in your young age and you are advised to use this period to safeguard your old age, as people with moles here tend to have a harder life as they get older.

Position 25
You will enjoy good prosperity and recognition luck, but do be careful of excesses. Stay traditional in your attitudes and you will have a long and fruitful life.

Famous Moles

CHRISTINA AGUILERA
Often compared to the other big songstress of her generation Britney Spears, Christina is touted as the one who can actually sing. Although gone a bit wild these days, she has a beauty spot that predicts fame, success and plenty to eat through life. Her mole is in position 12.

GONG LI
Known as China's most famous actress, she started her career in movies when she was still in school. Early fame is indeed indicated by her position 24 mole, but she needs to watch out, as people with moles in this position tend to have it very good early in life, but things get harder as they move into old age.

JOHN WOO
This man started his career working for Shaw Brothers Studio in Hong Kong, specializing in ultra-violent gangster films with elaborate action scenes. He gained entry into Hollywood after developing a cult reputation in the US with The Killer. Today, he has a string of impressive blockbusters to his name, including Broken Arrow, Face/Off and Paycheck. Big names like John Travolta and Nicolas Cage say they are "honoured to work with him". His mole lies in the position 20, which promises either great success or great notoriety. In John Woo's case, it is the former.

GOLDIE HAWN
Her mole lies in position 12, indicating she will lead a fortunate, wealthy and happy existence. She has a solid marriage with husband Kurt Russell and three beautiful children. Her daughter Kate Hudson is following in her footsteps, developing a very successful film career. With the recent birth of grandson Ryder Russell Robinson, her life is complete.

SARAH JESSICA PARKER
This Sex & the City star is blessed with fame, good looks and a loving husband. Her mole in position 25 suggests a life of recognition and wealth. She certainly has both of that and more.

CINDY CRAWFORD
Her beauty spot lies just to the left of her lips in position 12. This is a very fortunate mole position, which predicts a successful, fulfilling and balanced life.

BAI LING
This Szechwan-born beauty made her debut in Red Corner opposite Richard Gere, and since then has not looked back. Since moving to Hollywood, she has mastered English and starred opposite big names like Jodie Foster, Will Smith and Nick Nolte. Her mole in position 25 indicates she will enjoy
recognition and wealth luck as long as she maintains her traditions and her roots.

BEN AFFLECK
Almost as famous for his relationship with ex-fiancee Jennifer Lopez as he is for his good looks and box-office success, Ben Affleck sports a position 19 mole. This indicates he has money luck and many good friends, but that his weakness comes from yielding to the charms of the opposite sex.

TIGER WOODS
Golf-sensation Tiger Woods has a mole in position 22, which predicts a life of stardom, influence and power. He is not just a superstar in the golfing world, he is a role model for youngsters everywhere. He has said in interviews that his priority is not golf but helping others by influencing them in a positive way, hence the Tiger Woods Foundation which he set up with his father to help disadvantaged children in sporting and non-sporting activities. He has plenty of money in his life, made mainly through endorsements for companies such as Nike, American Express and Tag Heuer.

JET LI
After Jackie Chan, this man is Asia's biggest star. He was a martial arts world champion before he moved into acting, but his acting career has met with as much or even more success than his sporting one. His first movie Shaolin Temple was said to kick-start the Kung Fu boom in China in the 80's. This man has a similarly positioned mole to Tiger Woods, which gives him a propensity to excel in sport as well as other areas in life.

Funny Short Dialogues

2006-03-07T21:40:00.000-08:00

BOY: May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest
couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate,
burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and
exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker,my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Resultdeclared, past year's performance repeated".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
cook".

Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."

Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?" One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

Funny Story

2006-02-20T04:11:00.000-08:00

Amazing Pictures

2006-02-20T03:48:00.000-08:00

Alexandra Need Your Help!

2006-02-20T03:30:00.000-08:00

Alexandra came out of a rigging fire alive, but now has to fight for her life and a normal future. She is 14 months old and she has burnt skin all over her body, damage facial bones (as a result of very high temperature). She does not have half of her face. She is in hospital in Cracow - Poland and one of the best specialist is looking after her. However she still has to go through many surgeries and then long rehab.Unfortunately her parents do not have any more money. Therefore we are askingfor your help.

For each forwarded email her parents will get 3 cents. Please help them and forward that email to as many people as you can. (Copy and Paste from this blog)

Funny Mr. Bean Stories

2006-02-20T03:22:00.000-08:00

1) MR. BEAN SEES A DOCTOR:

Doctor:
I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.

Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor : Did you understand what I just told you?

Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor : Then why are you so happy?

Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:

Teacher : What is 5 plus 4?

Mr. Bean : 9

Teacher : What is 4 plus 5?

Mr. Bean : Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the
answer is 6!!

3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.

Clerk : Sir, vitamin A, B or C?

Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:

Friend : What are you looking at?

Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend : Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?

Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!

5) MARRIAGE:

Friend : How many women do you believe must a man marry?

Mr. Bean: 16

Friend : Why?

Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.

6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:

Friend : How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?

Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any
picture.

Friend : What tape did you take anyway?

Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.

7) DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:

Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.

Friend : condolence, my friend.

(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder

Friend : what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:

Colleague : Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a
power failure.

Mr. Bean : That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.

9) SPELLING LESSON:

Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?

Mr. Bean : Make it three c to be sure!

NUTRITION FACTS

2006-02-17T11:26:00.000-08:00

Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attack than the Aussies, British or Americans.

Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attack than the Aussies, British or Americans.

African drinks very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attack than the Aussies, British or Americans.

Italian drink large amount of red wine and suffer fewer heart attack than the Aussies, British or Americans.

Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attack than the Aussies, British or Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Poison for a mother-in-law

2006-02-17T11:22:00.000-08:00

A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live

with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found

that

she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all. Their

personalities

were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her

mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never

stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even

worse

was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to

her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and

unhappiness in he house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great

distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and

dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it!

Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs.

She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison

so that she could solve the problem once and for all.

Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help you

solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell

you."

Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do."

Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a

package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison

to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to

become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that

will slowly build up poison in her body.

Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these

herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspect

you when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly

towards her.

"Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a

queen."

Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her

plot of murdering her mother-in-law.

Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served

the specially treated food to her

mother-in-law. She remembered what

Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her

temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed.

Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that

she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her

mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and

easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to

love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and

relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find.

Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real

mother and daughter.

Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening.

One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again.

She said, "Dear Mr. Hu!

ang,

please help me to keep the poison from

killing my mother-in-law! She's changed into such a nice woman, and I

love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the

poison I gave her."

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded !

his head.

"Li-Li, there's nothing to worry

about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins

to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your

attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love

which you gave to her."

HAVE YOU REALIZED that how you treat others is exactly how they will

treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: "The person who loves others

will also be loved in return." God might be trying to work in another

person's life through you.

Send this to your friends and spread the POWER OF LOVE.

Remember, if you delete this mail nothing will happen. No one will die

or fall sick. But... if you send it to others your may change their

life.

After all you have got nothing to lose but a lot to gain.

13 Ways To Relieve Stress

2006-02-17T11:16:00.000-08:00

New Page 1

Stress Reliever #1 Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?" ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 2 Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet. ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 3 Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap. ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 4 Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?" Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear." Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!" Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs." ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 5 Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 6 A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans".. "My father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said another. Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans." ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 7 Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire to?" Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?" Millionaire: "A Billionaire" ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 8 Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever. The guy replies: Thanks for the warning. ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 9 A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex? He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone. ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 10 Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with? Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others! ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 11 Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S. ? Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side. ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 12 A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face or my sexy body? He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humour. ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 13 Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised? Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.

WHAT TREE DID YOU FALL FROM?

2006-02-17T11:13:00.000-08:00

Find your tree. This is really cool and somewhat accurate. Show to
your friends and family. Find your tree below and see what you are like...

Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree

Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree

Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree

Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree

Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree

Feb 19 to Feb 28 & nbsp; - Pine Tree

Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree

Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree

Mar 21 (only) - Oak Tree

Mar 22 to Mar 31 - ; Hazelnut Tree

Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree

Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree

Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree

May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree

May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree

May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree

Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree

Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree

Jun 24 (only) - Birch Tree

Jun 25 to Jul 04!

- Apple Tree

Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree

Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree

Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree

Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree

Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree

Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree

Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree

Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree

Sep 23 (only) - Olive Tree

Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree

Oct 04 to

Oct 13 - Rowan
Tree

Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree

Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree

Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree

Nov 22 to Dec

01 - Ash Tree

Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree

Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree

Dec 22 (only) -
Beech Tree

Dec 23 to Jan 01 -
Apple Tree

TREES (in alphabetical order)

Apple Tree (Love) -- quiet
and shy at times, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant attitude,
flirtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive,

loyal in love, wants to love and
be loved, faithful and tender partner, very g! enerous, many talents, loves
children, needs affectionate partner.

Ash Tree (Ambition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive,
demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes
to play with fate, can be very egotistic, reliable, restless lover, sometimes
money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and much emotional
support.

Beech Tree (Creative) -- has good taste, concerned about its looks,
materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader,
takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on
keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.).

Birch Tree (Inspiration) -- vivacious, attractive, elegant,friendly,
unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar,
loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination,
little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

Cedar Tree (Confidence) -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt, likes
unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on
others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined, often impatient, likes to
impress others, has many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the
one true love, able to make quick decisions.

Chestnut Tree (Honesty)

-- of unusual stature, impressive,

well-developed sense of just! ice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat,
can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes
acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very
loyal in love, physically fit.

Cypress Tree (Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life
has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic,
wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness,
passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times,
can be unruly and careless, loves to

gain knowledge, needs to be needed.

Elm Tree (Noble-mindedness) -- pleasant shape,

tasteful clothes, modest demands,
tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful! , likes to lead but not to obey, honest
and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous,
good sense of humor, practical.

Fig Tree (Sensibility) -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed, honest,
loyal, independent, hates contradiction or arguments, hard worker when wants to
be, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, sexually oriented,
great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great intelligence.

Fir tree (Mysterious) -- extraordinary taste, handles stress well, loves
anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to
trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes idleness and laziness after long

demanding hours at work, rather
modest, talented, unselfish, many friends, very r! eliable.

Hazelnut Tree (Extraordinary) -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding
but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression,
active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, sexually
oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects
complete fairness.

Hornbeam Tree (Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and
condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible,
leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment
in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its
feelings, mistrusts most people, is

never sure of its decisions, very
conscientious.

Lime Tree (Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes out,
but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates fighting
and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is actually soft and
relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family and friends, has many
talents but not always enough time to

use them, great leadership qualities, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.

Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) -- no ordinary person, full of imagination
and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for
new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns
easily, complicated love

life, wants to impress.

Oak Tree (Brave) -- robust nature, courag eous, strong, unrelenting,
independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground,
person of action.

Olive Tree (Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable,
balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm,
well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves
to read and the company of sophisticated people.

Pine Tree (Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony,
loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion
conscious, great compassion,

friendly to all, falls strongly in
love but will leave if b! etrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self esteem,
needs affection and reassurance.

Poplar Tree (Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not very
self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant
surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature,
good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation,
takes partnership seriously.

Rowan Tree (Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism,
likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is
both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional,
good company, does not forgive.

Walnut Tree< /STRONG> (Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts,
often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions,
spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner,
not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and
passionate, no compromise.

Weeping Willow (Melancholy) - likes to be stress free, loves family life, full
of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful,
musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious,
honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes
demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal,
steadfast partner;

loves to make others laugh.

Who is your favorite female celebrity?
	Pamela Anderson
	Britney Spears
	Jessica Simpson
	Reese Witherspoon
	Keira Knightley
	Halle Berry
	Nicole Kidman
	Teri Hatcher
	Kristin Kreuk
	Eva Longoria
	Paris Hilton
	Tyra Banks
	Angelina Jolie
	Jennifer Aniston
	Jennifer Lopez
	Jennifer Garner
	Jessica Alba
	Mariah Carey
	Charlize Theron
	Others

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