Funny Cute Babies

Just wanna share with you guys computer engineered funny looking baby pictures....

Stupid Labelling

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

Some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.

On Tesco's Tiramisu desert:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating

On packaging for a Rowenta Iron:
Do not iron clothes on body

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine
Do not drive car or operate machinery

On Nytol (a sleep aid):
Warning: may cause drowsiness

On a Korean-made kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese-made food processor:
Not to be used for the other use

On Sainsbury's Peanuts
Warning: contains nuts

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a Swedish-made chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

General Hints for a Better Life

If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at the chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the F*****G thing in the first place.

Give up smoking by sticking one cigarette from each new pack up a fat friend's arse, filter first, then replacing it in the box. The possibility of putting that one in your mouth will put you off smoking any of them.

Make your girlfriend cry when you're having sex by phoning her up and telling her.

Dyslexics. Try deliberately spelling words wrongly. This way at least you have a chance of spelling them correctly.

Bearded men can obtain the appearance of an upper class Arctic explorer by simply applying Tippex to their beards, painting their noses blue, and cutting off a couple of toes. It never fails to impress the girls.

Housewives: When nipping out to the shops, remember to carry a stiff broom in the boot of your car. Use it to sweep the broken glass to the side of the road every time you have a minor accident.

Keep the seat next to you on the train vacant by smiling and nodding at people as they walk up the aisle.

Increase blind people's electricity bills by switching all their lights on when their guide dog isn't looking.

Girls. Too old to go on an 18 to 30 holiday? Simply get pissed, lie in a sand pit in your garden and shag every bloke who looks at you over the fence.

Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

Save money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741Y.

Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.

Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.

Deter goldfish from having sex by throwing a small bucket of air over any that you catch in the act.

An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

Arsenal fans. Avoid an asymmetrical bulge in your right arm by masturbating furiously with your left arm too.

Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the loo seat by simply pissing in the sink.

Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they wont know any difference.

Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours, and ask for a nice steak.

Which month are you belong?

January

Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.

February

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

March

Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.

April

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confidant. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. Hot but has brains.

May

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High-spirited.

June

You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!

July

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

August

Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. No self-control. Kind hearted. Self-confident. Loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. in need of "that someone". Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. Lives by "no pain no gain" caring. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. Independent. Strong willed. A fighter.

September

Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

October

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

November

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.

Disember

This straight-up means you are the most good-looking person possible... Better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. One guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves music. Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive.

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July Free Ebooks

FREE eBook ( No B.S , No Need to pay, Right click and choose save as )


How to Stop Smoking

Panduan Penjagaan Kereta dan Keselamatan (Bahasa Melayu)

Italian-Malay-English Phrases + Pronunciation

You can also download the pdf version of Italian-Malay-English Phrases + Pronunciation by visiting this link

For anyone who do not know what is ebook : It is simply electronic ebook. Rather than read on paper, ebook allows you to read on your pc, palm, tablet pc or any device that is created to read ebook. Usually ebook is available in .pdf and .exe format. You can also print it out if you like. Usually ebook is far cheaper than conventional book because does not require any paper to produce it at first place, thus reduce tremendously the production cost.

The New Weird Way To Spread HIV

Weird way drug addict use to spread HIV, the virus of AIDS disease. Below is an article that needed to get attention if you never read it before.

In Thailand, one of drug addict who is HIV positive had been arrested and charged, but it was too late, as he already infected many innocent victim. So be careful! Some place that is dangerous and you might find contaminated needles that have been used by drug addicts.

At a beach. When you are walking at a beach please always wear slippers or shoes as HIV contamidated needles might buried under the sand. These needles might be exposed to underground by sea wave.

At a chidren playground! Another favourite place for drug addict. In Australia, where an innocent child had been accidentally injected with needle when he slide down where a needle happen to be at the bottom of the slide, and then comfirmed HIV positive.

At a cinema! Please check the seat before sitting. A case happened in Hawaii when a woman sat on a chair and felt something injected her. When she stand up, she realized there was a needle and a note written "Welcome to the real world, you are now HIV positive" . Doctor inspected the needle and confirmed it had HIV virus. So be careful.

In Georgia and Florida, US , there's a case a drug addict place a needle in coin balance retriever of vending machine. So if you want to buy drink oy candy or anything else from vending machine, look carefully into coin balance retriever, maybe someone has put a HIV contaminated needle inside it.

Please share this story with anyone else you know, especially family members and friends. You can forward them to this URL (copy and paste the url)

http://uniqueweird.blogspot.com/2006/06/new-weird-way-to-spread-hiv.html

As translated from an article in Bahasa Melayu by Dr Yasmin Anum Mohd Yusof Associate Professor & Head Dept. of Chemical Pathology School of Medical Sciences USM

Georgetown, Penang and KL is Among Asia's Top Cities By Asiaweek

Penang and Kuala Lumpur been ranked among top 10 cities in Asia by a leading Asia magazine Asiaweek. Other 2 of the Southeast Asia or ASEAN cities also among the list. Kuching has raise it ranked from number 21 to 11. Tokyo take the first place from Fukuoka while Singapore fall from 3 to 4. These cities are judged by several indicators such as transportation, average income, percentage of population with piped water, GDP growth, unemployment rate, ratio of housing price per income, average life expentancy, annual urban inflation rate and vehicle per kilometre per city road.

Below are full list of Asia's Top Cities:

Source from: http://www.asiaweek.com/asiaweek/asiacities/topten.html

1. Tokyo, JAPAN
2. Fukuoka, JAPAN
3. Osaka, JAPAN
4. Singapore
5. Taipei, TAIWAN
6. Georgetown (Penang), MALAYSIA
7. Hong Kong SAR, CHINA
8. Bandar Seri Begawan, BRUNEI
9. Kuala Lumpur, MALAYSIA
10. Beijing, CHINA

11. Kuching, MALAYSIA
12. Macau, CHINA
13. Shanghai, CHINA
14. Cebu City, PHILIPPINE
15. Kaohsiung, TAIWAN
16. Metro Manila, PHILIPPINE
17. Pusan, SOUTH KOREA
18. Seoul, SOUTH KOREA
19. Davao City, PHILIPPINE
20. Chiang Mai, THAILAND

21. Guangzhou, CHINA
22. Hanoi, VIETNAM
23. Ho Chi Minh, VIETNAM
24. Colombo, SRI LANKA
25. Islamabad, PAKISTAN
26. Bangkok, THAILAND
27. Bangalore, INDIA
28. Kathmandu, NEPAL
29. Chongqing, CHINA
30. Yangon, BURMA

31. Chittagong, BANGLADESH
32. Delhi, INDIA
33. Dhaka, BANGLADESH
34. Karachi, PAKISTAN
35. Jakarta, INDONESIA
36. Phnom Penh, CAMBODIA
37. Bombay, INDIA
38. Bandung, INDONESIA
39. Surabaya, INDONESIA
40. Vientiane, LAOS

Evil and Shocking! Eating Baby in Japan!

Wife vs Hubby

WIFE'S DIARY

Sunday night.

I thought he was acting weird.We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have coffee.

I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere

Quiet so we could talk.

He agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

I asked him what was wrong.

He said: "Nothing."

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him.

He simply smiled and kept driving.

I can't explain his behavior;

I don't know why he didn't say: "I love u, too."

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV;

He seemed distant and absent.

Finally, I decided to go to bed.

About 10 minutes later he came to bed.

I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.

I don't know what to do.

I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

===========================================

HUSBAND'S DIARY

Today, Manchester United lost the match. DAMN IT..!!

(Ends)

Reasons Why I Never Visit My Rich Friend

Once while visiting a very rich friend, the maid approached me
and.....

Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea,
Chocolate, Capuccino, Frapuccino,or Coffee?"
Answer: " Tea please"

Question : " Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea,Bush tea, Honey bush
tea, Iced tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?
Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, or fresh cream?
Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat's milk, or cow's milk"
Answer: "With cow's milk please.

Question: " Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll just take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White, brown or yellow sugar?"
Answer: "Forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water
instead."

Question: "Mineral water, tap water or distilled water? "
Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I think I'll just die of thirst!"


MORAL OF THE STORY IS
NEXT TIME WHEN U VISIT YOUR RICH FRIEND DON'T TALK TO THE MAID. ;p