Thursday, March 09, 2006
I am Spongobon, How about You?
Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities of well know and modern cartoon characters. The information that was gathered was made into this test:
Answer all the questions with what describes you best, add up all your points at the end and look for your results. Then forward this to all your friends and change the subject of this message to what character is you.
1) Which one of the following describes the perfect date?
a) Candlelight dinner
b) Fun/Theme Park
c) Painting in the park
d) Rock concert
e) Going to the movies
2)What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock and Roll
b) Alternative
c) Soft Rock
d) Country
e) Pop
3) What type of movies do you prefer?
a) Comedy
b) Horror
c) Musical
d) Romance
e) Documentary
4) Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could choose one of these?
a) Waiter
b) Professional Sports Player
c) Teacher
d) Police
e) Cashier
5) What do you do with your spare time?
a) Exercise
b) Read
c) Watch television
d) Listen to music
e) Sleep
6) Which one of the following colors do you like best?
a) Yellow
b) White
c) Sky Blue
d) Dark Blue
e) Red
7) What do you prefer to eat right now?
a) Snow
b) Pizza
c) Sushi
d) Pasta
e) Salad
8) What is your favorite Holiday?
a) Halloween
b) Christmas
c) New Year
d) Valentines Day
e) Thanksgiving
9) If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?
a) Paris
b) Spain
c) Las Vegas
d) Hawaii
e) Hollywood
10) With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?
a) Someone Smart
b) Someone attractive
c) Someone who likes to Party
d) Someone who always has fun
e) Someone very sentimental
Now add up your points and find out the answer you have been waiting for!
1.) a-4 b-2 c-5 d-1 e-3
2.) a-2 b-1 c-4 d-5 e-3
3.) a-2 b-1 c-3 d-4 e-5
4.) a-4 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-1
5.) a-5 b-4 c-2 d-1 e-3
6.) a-1 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-4
7.) a-3 b-2 c-1 d-4 e-5
8.) a-1 b-3 c-2 d-4 e-5
9.) a-4 b-5 c-1 d-4 e-3
10.) a-5 b-2 c-1 d-3 e-4
(10-16 points) You are Garfield:
You are very comfortable, easy going, and you definitely know how to have fun but sometimes you take it to an extreme where you can hurt others. You tend to ignore feelings of others.You always know what you are doing and you are always in control of your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try to remember your happy spirit may hurt you or others.
(18-26 points) You are Snoopy:
You are fun, you are very cool and popular. You always know what's in and you never are out of style. You are good at knowinghow to satisfy everyone else. Yo u have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but you always come home with the family values that you learned. Being married and having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun times.
(22-28 points) You are Arnold:
You have lots of friends and you are also popular, always willing to give advice and help out a person in need. You are very optimistic and you always see the brightmside of things. Some good advice: try not to be too much of a dreamer, if not you will have many conflicts with life. When someone that is honest offeres you friendship, take it. Keep in touch with reality and life will be so much fun.
(29-34 points) Y ou are Sponge Bob Square Pants:
You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend anyone could ever have and never want to loose. You never cause harm to anyone, and nobody will ever understand you or your feelings. You are usually used by others becasue of your good nature and loving qualities. Those who do respect you doso in the most honest way. Life is a journey, your always on an adventure, funny and calm, yet full of too many ups and downs for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people as they are the ones that bring you down... then you will be stress free.
(35-42 points) You are Charlie Brown:
you are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You call your mom every Sunday. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.
(43-50 points) You are Dexter:
You are smart and definitely a thinker. Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong family principles. Maintain a stable routine but never ignore a bad situation when it comes upon you. When it comes to friends, your #1. Other people's problems are just that, their problems. You have selective hearing.
Answer all the questions with what describes you best, add up all your points at the end and look for your results. Then forward this to all your friends and change the subject of this message to what character is you.
1) Which one of the following describes the perfect date?
a) Candlelight dinner
b) Fun/Theme Park
c) Painting in the park
d) Rock concert
e) Going to the movies
2)What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock and Roll
b) Alternative
c) Soft Rock
d) Country
e) Pop
3) What type of movies do you prefer?
a) Comedy
b) Horror
c) Musical
d) Romance
e) Documentary
4) Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could choose one of these?
a) Waiter
b) Professional Sports Player
c) Teacher
d) Police
e) Cashier
5) What do you do with your spare time?
a) Exercise
b) Read
c) Watch television
d) Listen to music
e) Sleep
6) Which one of the following colors do you like best?
a) Yellow
b) White
c) Sky Blue
d) Dark Blue
e) Red
7) What do you prefer to eat right now?
a) Snow
b) Pizza
c) Sushi
d) Pasta
e) Salad
8) What is your favorite Holiday?
a) Halloween
b) Christmas
c) New Year
d) Valentines Day
e) Thanksgiving
9) If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?
a) Paris
b) Spain
c) Las Vegas
d) Hawaii
e) Hollywood
10) With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?
a) Someone Smart
b) Someone attractive
c) Someone who likes to Party
d) Someone who always has fun
e) Someone very sentimental
Now add up your points and find out the answer you have been waiting for!
1.) a-4 b-2 c-5 d-1 e-3
2.) a-2 b-1 c-4 d-5 e-3
3.) a-2 b-1 c-3 d-4 e-5
4.) a-4 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-1
5.) a-5 b-4 c-2 d-1 e-3
6.) a-1 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-4
7.) a-3 b-2 c-1 d-4 e-5
8.) a-1 b-3 c-2 d-4 e-5
9.) a-4 b-5 c-1 d-4 e-3
10.) a-5 b-2 c-1 d-3 e-4
(10-16 points) You are Garfield:
You are very comfortable, easy going, and you definitely know how to have fun but sometimes you take it to an extreme where you can hurt others. You tend to ignore feelings of others.You always know what you are doing and you are always in control of your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try to remember your happy spirit may hurt you or others.
(18-26 points) You are Snoopy:
You are fun, you are very cool and popular. You always know what's in and you never are out of style. You are good at knowinghow to satisfy everyone else. Yo u have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but you always come home with the family values that you learned. Being married and having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun times.
(22-28 points) You are Arnold:
You have lots of friends and you are also popular, always willing to give advice and help out a person in need. You are very optimistic and you always see the brightmside of things. Some good advice: try not to be too much of a dreamer, if not you will have many conflicts with life. When someone that is honest offeres you friendship, take it. Keep in touch with reality and life will be so much fun.
(29-34 points) Y ou are Sponge Bob Square Pants:
You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend anyone could ever have and never want to loose. You never cause harm to anyone, and nobody will ever understand you or your feelings. You are usually used by others becasue of your good nature and loving qualities. Those who do respect you doso in the most honest way. Life is a journey, your always on an adventure, funny and calm, yet full of too many ups and downs for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people as they are the ones that bring you down... then you will be stress free.
(35-42 points) You are Charlie Brown:
you are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You call your mom every Sunday. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.
(43-50 points) You are Dexter:
You are smart and definitely a thinker. Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong family principles. Maintain a stable routine but never ignore a bad situation when it comes upon you. When it comes to friends, your #1. Other people's problems are just that, their problems. You have selective hearing.
How Bird Flu spread rampantly in China...
Early dawn, starts the day by riding around to collect dead chicken
Asking around for dead chicken
Total of 5 riders are hired by the boss to farms to buy dead chickens
A dead chicken cost 1 RMB and would be sold at 9 RMB after processing
Storage for the dead chickens in the court yard
carcasses are thrown everywhere
And on the floor….
4 employees start de-feathering the dead fowls after soaking them in
boiling water from a rusty wok
Enduring the pungent odor, but sometimes, it gets so terrible that even
the most experience of the workers would puke
Workers rushing to get the chicken de-feathered
A discarded bath tub being used to soak the bare skin dead chicken
the contaminated water would have accelerated the decomposition
process
Wearing slippers walking among the chicken before coloring processing
After the colour dye, its creepy to find that they are quite tenderising
Presenting the mouth watering Charcoal Roasted Chicken
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Poll : What Item You Are Willing To Purchase Online?
Do not heat liquids in a microwave for more than 2 minutes.
( Share this important information with your families and friends.)
''A 26-year old person decided to have a cup of coffee. He took a cup of water and put it in the microwave to heat it up (something that he had done numerous times before). I am not sure how long he set the timer for, but he told me he wanted to bring the water to a boil. When the timer shut the oven off, he removed the cup from the oven. As he looked into the cup, he noted that the water was not boiling, but instantly the water in the cup "blew up" into his face. The cup remained intact until he threw it out of his hand but all the water had flown out into his face due to the build up of energy. His whole face is blistered and he has 1st and 2nd degree burns to his face which may leave scarring. He also may have lost partial sight in his left eye. While at the hospital, the doctor who was attending to him stated that this is fairly common occurrence and water (alone) should never be heated in a microwave oven. If water is heated in this manner, something should be placed in the cup to diffuse the energy such as a wooden stir stick, tea bag, etc. It is however a much safer choice to boil the water in a tea kettle.
General Electric's response:
Thanks for contacting us. I will be happy to assist you. The e-mail that you received is correct. Microwaved water and other liquids do not always bubble when they reach the boiling point. They can actually get superheated and not bubble at all. The superheated liquid will bubble up out of the cup when it is moved or when something like a spoon or tea bag is put into it.
To prevent this from happening and causing injury, do not heat any liquid for more than two minutes per cup. After heating, let the cup stand in the microwave for thirty seconds before moving it or adding anything into it. Here is what a science teacher had to say on the matter: "Thanks for the microwave warning. I have seen this happen before. It is caused by a phenomenon known as super heating. It can occur anytime water is heated and will particularly occur if the vessel that the water is heated in is new, or when heating a small amount of water (less than half a cup). What happens is that the water heats faster than the vapor bubbles can form. If
the cup is very new then it is unlikely to have small surface scratches inside it that provide a place for the bubbles to form. As the bubbles cannot form and release some of the heat that has built up, the liquid does not boil, and the liquid continues to heat up well past its boiling point.
What then usually happens is that the liquid is bumped or jarred, which is just enough of a shock to cause the bubbles to rapidly form and expel the hot liquid.
If you pass this on ... you could very well save someone from a lot of pain and suffering
''A 26-year old person decided to have a cup of coffee. He took a cup of water and put it in the microwave to heat it up (something that he had done numerous times before). I am not sure how long he set the timer for, but he told me he wanted to bring the water to a boil. When the timer shut the oven off, he removed the cup from the oven. As he looked into the cup, he noted that the water was not boiling, but instantly the water in the cup "blew up" into his face. The cup remained intact until he threw it out of his hand but all the water had flown out into his face due to the build up of energy. His whole face is blistered and he has 1st and 2nd degree burns to his face which may leave scarring. He also may have lost partial sight in his left eye. While at the hospital, the doctor who was attending to him stated that this is fairly common occurrence and water (alone) should never be heated in a microwave oven. If water is heated in this manner, something should be placed in the cup to diffuse the energy such as a wooden stir stick, tea bag, etc. It is however a much safer choice to boil the water in a tea kettle.
General Electric's response:
Thanks for contacting us. I will be happy to assist you. The e-mail that you received is correct. Microwaved water and other liquids do not always bubble when they reach the boiling point. They can actually get superheated and not bubble at all. The superheated liquid will bubble up out of the cup when it is moved or when something like a spoon or tea bag is put into it.
To prevent this from happening and causing injury, do not heat any liquid for more than two minutes per cup. After heating, let the cup stand in the microwave for thirty seconds before moving it or adding anything into it. Here is what a science teacher had to say on the matter: "Thanks for the microwave warning. I have seen this happen before. It is caused by a phenomenon known as super heating. It can occur anytime water is heated and will particularly occur if the vessel that the water is heated in is new, or when heating a small amount of water (less than half a cup). What happens is that the water heats faster than the vapor bubbles can form. If
the cup is very new then it is unlikely to have small surface scratches inside it that provide a place for the bubbles to form. As the bubbles cannot form and release some of the heat that has built up, the liquid does not boil, and the liquid continues to heat up well past its boiling point.
What then usually happens is that the liquid is bumped or jarred, which is just enough of a shock to cause the bubbles to rapidly form and expel the hot liquid.
If you pass this on ... you could very well save someone from a lot of pain and suffering
Moles and what they say about you
The Chinese Almanac, also known as the Tung Shu, is commonly known as a book of auspicious and inauspicious dates, but there is so much more to the Tung Shu than that. It is a vast mine of information relating to astrology, codes and symbols, derived by the wise sages and philosophers of ancient China. In this issue, we bring to you the secrets from the almanac regarding moles on your face and what they mean depending on which part of your face they appear.
First, check your face for any moles, and then look at the diagram above to identify the number(s) that are a closest match to the moles on your face. Usually, the moles only hold meaning for you if they are prominent and they are the only one. If your face if full of spots, acne or "little" moles, they do not count. When you've ascertained which position corresponds to the mole on your face, look up the meanings listed by numbers below.
Position 1 to 3
As a child, you are somewhat rebellious and a free spirit. You have an innate creativity and work best when you are given a free hand. Generally, your superiors like your avante garde approach to life. If you have a mole here, you are far better off in business and being your own boss rather than working for somebody. What is promising is that you have the luck to be your own boss.
Position 4
You are an impulsive person, often acting with a flamboyance that gives you charisma and a sparkling personality, but you can be difficult when there are too many opinions. You tend to be rather argumentative, but never to the point of holding grudges. This mole tends to give you an explosive
temper and should you decide to remove it, you will find yourself becoming calmer and more at peace with the world.
Position 5
A mole above the eyebrow indicates that there is wealth luck in your life, but you will need to earn it and work harder than most people. All the income you make must be carefully kept as there are people who are jealous of you who might attempt to sweet talk you into parting with your wealth. Be wary of those who try to interest you in get-rich-quick schemes. If you have a mole here, it is advisable not to be too trusting of others. Follow your instincts and be cautious. And never allow other people to control your finances.
Position 6
A mole here indicates intelligence, creativity and skill as an artist. Your artistic talent can bring you wealth, fame and success. It also indicates wealth luck, but this can only be fully realized if you follow your heart rather than stick to conventional means of making a living. Success will come if you are brave.
Position 7
Moles under the eyebrows indicate arguments within the extended family that cause you grief and unhappiness. This will affect your work and livelihood. It is advisable to settle any differences you have with your relatives if you want peace of mind to move ahead.
Position 8
This is not a very good position for a mole. Your financial position will constantly be under strain because of a tendency to overspend. You also have a penchant for gambling. The only thing is you must know when to stop. Meanwhile, someone with a mole here has a tendency to flirt with members of the opposite sex as well as with the same sex. Better be a little discerning where you exert your charms, or you might get into trouble.
Position 9
This mole position suggests sexual and other problems. It is an unfortunate mole and you are well advised to get rid of it. It brings a litany of woes and a parade of problems.
Position 10
A mole here just under the nose indicates excellent descendants luck. You are surrounded by family at all times and will have many children and grandchildren. You have the support of those close to you and will be both materially and emotionally fulfilled.
Position 11
Moles here suggest a tendency to succumb to illness. It is a good idea to have this mole removed especially if it is a large, dark-coloured mole. Otherwise use lots of foundation to cover it.
Position 12
A mole here foretells a successful but also a very balanced life. You are likely to be not just rich, but famous as well. But although you have every opportunity to live the high life, you will have a satisfying home and family life as well. Women with moles here are particularly lucky and tend to be beautiful and glamourous as well.
Position 13
Your children will be a big worry in your life. Your relationship with them is not good. There is nothing much you can do about this except to learn some tolerance.
Position 14
A mole here suggests a vulnerability to food which can be a big problem in your life. You may have allergies against certain foods or you may simply be eating too much.
Position 15
You are a person always on the move and constantly renovating and redesigning your house. You like to be introduced to new things and see new places. You are not happy if you remain in one place for long. You enjoy travel and adventure, and have a very observant eye.
Position 16
You need to be careful when it comes to eating, and also when it comes to your sex life. These are your two biggest problems. You tend to have weight issues which can make you depressed. You enjoy romance, sometimes with more than one person, but because you are a person with some morality, you will feel guilty about it and this will cause you much stress.
Position 17
You will be someone of great social prominence. You are active on the social scene and an excellent conversationalist. There is a tendency to become bigheaded about your success, which could lose you your good name. This will affect you deeply because you draw your confidence and self worth from what others think of you.
Position 18
You are a person always on the move. There is a great deal of overseas travel in your life, but you should take extra care each time you cross the great waters, as your mole prefers you to stay at home.
Position 19
You have money luck and many good friends, so this is a good mole to have. Your weakness is that you tend to succumb to the charms of the opposite sex. In your life, it is this that could get you into hot water, so do cool your ardour!
Position 20
A mole here can be very lucky or very unlucky. If you have a mole here, you are destined either for extreme fame or infamy. You have great flair for creativity and are also highly intelligent, but your talents can be used for both good and bad. You are not a person to be trifled with for you are no pushover and do not forgive and forget easily. This mole is a mark of someone who will go down in history either as a great or as a tyrant.
Position 21
This is a good mole, as it suggests plenty to eat and drink throughout your life. This mole also brings fame and recognition.
Position 22
Your life is always happy and things go smoothly for you. You could well become a sports superstar if you have the passion for it. Moles at the end of eyebrows also suggest a person of authority and power, so if you are the CEO of a company, you will do very well.
Position 23
You have a high IQ, and you are both brain smart and street smart. You have a highly-developed survival instinct and will lead a meaningful and long life. You will be active until a very old age and will have friends and family around you till the very end.
Position 24
You will achieve fame and fortune in your young age and you are advised to use this period to safeguard your old age, as people with moles here tend to have a harder life as they get older.
Position 25
You will enjoy good prosperity and recognition luck, but do be careful of excesses. Stay traditional in your attitudes and you will have a long and fruitful life.
Famous Moles
CHRISTINA AGUILERA
Often compared to the other big songstress of her generation Britney Spears, Christina is touted as the one who can actually sing. Although gone a bit wild these days, she has a beauty spot that predicts fame, success and plenty to eat through life. Her mole is in position 12.
GONG LI
Known as China's most famous actress, she started her career in movies when she was still in school. Early fame is indeed indicated by her position 24 mole, but she needs to watch out, as people with moles in this position tend to have it very good early in life, but things get harder as they move into old age.
JOHN WOO
This man started his career working for Shaw Brothers Studio in Hong Kong, specializing in ultra-violent gangster films with elaborate action scenes. He gained entry into Hollywood after developing a cult reputation in the US with The Killer. Today, he has a string of impressive blockbusters to his name, including Broken Arrow, Face/Off and Paycheck. Big names like John Travolta and Nicolas Cage say they are "honoured to work with him". His mole lies in the position 20, which promises either great success or great notoriety. In John Woo's case, it is the former.
GOLDIE HAWN
Her mole lies in position 12, indicating she will lead a fortunate, wealthy and happy existence. She has a solid marriage with husband Kurt Russell and three beautiful children. Her daughter Kate Hudson is following in her footsteps, developing a very successful film career. With the recent birth of grandson Ryder Russell Robinson, her life is complete.
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
This Sex & the City star is blessed with fame, good looks and a loving husband. Her mole in position 25 suggests a life of recognition and wealth. She certainly has both of that and more.
CINDY CRAWFORD
Her beauty spot lies just to the left of her lips in position 12. This is a very fortunate mole position, which predicts a successful, fulfilling and balanced life.
BAI LING
This Szechwan-born beauty made her debut in Red Corner opposite Richard Gere, and since then has not looked back. Since moving to Hollywood, she has mastered English and starred opposite big names like Jodie Foster, Will Smith and Nick Nolte. Her mole in position 25 indicates she will enjoy
recognition and wealth luck as long as she maintains her traditions and her roots.
BEN AFFLECK
Almost as famous for his relationship with ex-fiancee Jennifer Lopez as he is for his good looks and box-office success, Ben Affleck sports a position 19 mole. This indicates he has money luck and many good friends, but that his weakness comes from yielding to the charms of the opposite sex.
TIGER WOODS
Golf-sensation Tiger Woods has a mole in position 22, which predicts a life of stardom, influence and power. He is not just a superstar in the golfing world, he is a role model for youngsters everywhere. He has said in interviews that his priority is not golf but helping others by influencing them in a positive way, hence the Tiger Woods Foundation which he set up with his father to help disadvantaged children in sporting and non-sporting activities. He has plenty of money in his life, made mainly through endorsements for companies such as Nike, American Express and Tag Heuer.
JET LI
After Jackie Chan, this man is Asia's biggest star. He was a martial arts world champion before he moved into acting, but his acting career has met with as much or even more success than his sporting one. His first movie Shaolin Temple was said to kick-start the Kung Fu boom in China in the 80's. This man has a similarly positioned mole to Tiger Woods, which gives him a propensity to excel in sport as well as other areas in life.
Funny Short Dialogues
BOY: May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest
couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate,
burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and
exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker,my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Resultdeclared, past year's performance repeated".
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
cook".
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?" One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest
couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate,
burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and
exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker,my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Resultdeclared, past year's performance repeated".
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
cook".
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?" One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."